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There was this guy, right? There was this guy. Nice guy on the face of it. Cool. Tall, dark, not necessarily handsome any which way you look at it. Still. He thought he was handsome. People are entitled to image themselves. Why not? Who’s anyone to say anything against it.
He was educated. Sure. He had the ability to be pleasant. Only thing with this guy was, he was brought up thinking he was a loser. How? He was made to play a sport he could never win. Just didn’t have the gumption for it. He was a good sparring partner though, for all the winners. He saw them come and go, carrying their laurels with them. He could never win any laurels. At least not those that really mattered. It became ingrained in him that he couldn’t win.
Now, this guy, right? This guy gets a great job in a great law firm. A year later he quits the job! Why? He wants to be in the movie business. Was that why he quit. I wish it was!
He thinks all the people around him are idiots. He was surprised when the law firm asked him to leave because they felt he wasn’t performing, grinding in the feeling that he was a loser. Why didn’t he perform? He was working on a job while dreaming about movie making. Neither here…nor there!
He joined another firm. same result. He joined a third firm. same result. He was surrounded by success. his contemporaries were rising. His seniors were rising higher. His friends were topping the charts. He wasn’t. Why?
His dreams of making movies persisted, but without effort there is no result. Right? Try telling that to this guy. God knows I did. I said, “If you keep doing the same thing over and over again and expect something different, it ain’t gonna happen!” Did he listen?
Ha!
Then an idea struck this guy. He would start out on his own. He wouldn’t be judged by anyone. He wouldn’t be pushed down by anyone. He would be his own master. I thought it was a bad idea. He was steadfast. He had seen his contemporaries strike out on their own. He saw them buying fast cars and drink expensive liquor.
His work did not meet expectations. His clients did not go back to him for their work. His view of the world changed. He felt everyone was out to get him. His dislike for successful people was exponential. I saw his character metamorphize into a thing of frustration and rage. Like bile rising from the depths of hell.
He saw no difference between friend and foe. He continued to dream of making movies. Or directing them. Did nothing about it. The reason…what if he failed?
So, he told himself he had responsibilities to his family. Was he actually fulfilling them. No. Why? He couldn’t meet his own ends.
He felt he was a good legal professional. Was he? No, because instead of seeing his clients as his source of livelihood, he saw them as worrisome bigots who did not recognize his greatness. He would foul mouth them. Not answer their calls. And overbill them. Especially rich old ladies. He would do this with his sob stories about getting his sister married and supporting his ailing parents.
This guy, right? he was lost in a hell of his own making. I knew this guy. I was once his friend and well-wisher. And now, I am trying to yank out the knife he embedded deep into my back.
This guy, right? This guy, beware of him…