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”Hello sir, this is Sweta this side.”
“Sorry, which side?”
“ Am I speaking to Mr. Bomma…Sai.…vadaaa…”
“No, I am not he. My name is vadhan”
”Sorry sir, do you own a house?”
“What’s that got to do with my name?”
“Sir, I am the Sweta speaking from ‘The Worst Real Estate Company Ever’. Are you like to buy the house?”
”Are I what?”
”We have the villa, the apartments and the floors.”
”Glad to know they have floors. Generally, they all do have floors, you know.”
”Who sir?”
”The villas and apartments and such.”
”Ok, sorry.”
”No, no. No need to be sorry. In fact you should be glad they have floors. Difficult to step in if there are no floors and only a void. Anyway, what’s all this have to do with me?”
”You want sir?”
”a floor?”
”Yes, we have different sizes.”
”How’s that possible. The floor should match the rest of the place. I mean, cant have a Villa with the floor slipping out from under its door. Or worse, if the floor is of a smaller size, how do I walk inside the villa?”
”Thank you for the interest in a floor.“
”I am not…listen, if I buy it, it has to be the whole place, can’t just buy the floor.“
”One minute sir, since you have the doubt, I will transfer to manager. The manager, he will explain all about floor.”
”What’s there to explain, its a floor.”
Too late. The music indicates the call’s on hold. It lasts a few seconds.
“Good morning Mr. Bomma….Vadaaa”
”Does no one know to pronounce a name?”
”Yes sir, my name is Rohit.”
”We have three levels of floors, first, second and third.”
”Just the floor? What about the rest of the building.”
”Sorry sir. First floor is 2BHK, second floor is 3 BHK and the third floor is 1 BHK
”Oh, an apartment!”
”No sir, floor.”
I am thoroughly confused.
”We also have apartments.“
”What‘s a floor and what’s an apartment?”
”Yes sir.”
”Eh?”
“You want independent floor or apartment?”
The light’s dawning. He meant an independent floor as opposed to an apartment in a high rise.
”Not interested. I already have a villa.”
”Ok sir. Sell your villa.”
”What, why?”
”Buy a floor or apartment.”
”I don’t want it.”
A moment of silence. ”One moment sir.”
On hold again. Same music. The girl comes back on the phone.
“You not like to speak to manager, ok. Sell villa?”
”No! I don‘t want to sell my villa?”
”What, sir. All this time we talk. Please buy something.”
”What!?”
“We give discount sir.”
”One moment.”
My turn.
I handed the phone over to my wife. Mistake.
Now I have to go see the floor.